A Child's Breath Read online

  Karolina began to shake, and in a panic tried to encourage the child to breathe. She screamed and cried loudly “Breathe, Johannes, breathe”. Karolina knew that something was terribly wrong but could not believe that Johannes was dead. She had left him this morning smiling and laughing. “This is not possible; it cannot be”, she said to herself.

  Karolina’s two older sons had heard their mother screaming and ran into the cabin. “Mama, what is it? What is wrong?” Her oldest son Charles cried out. Karolina ignored him and still holding the baby close to her bosom cried out “My God, how could you take this poor child! He can’t be dead; he can’t be dead!” She kept asking for divine help for her child. “Please, Lord, don’t take away my child!” She continued to cry loudly and slumped to the floor with the baby in her arms. The two boys became frightened seeing their mother in such a state.

  Meanwhile, Clara moaned and attempted to raise herself up off of the bed when she heard Karolina’s cries but instead fell back down. Charles and Albert began crying and asking their mother how they could help but Karolina only hugged Johannes closer to her and sobbed.

  Charles went to Clara and began shaking her gently. Clara opened her eyes for a minute and said, “Charles, get my mother”. Charles knew that Clara lived with her parents on the farm next to theirs and grabbed Albert’s hand, pulling him out the door.

  The two boys ran from the cabin across the field next door to the Bauer’s farm. Mrs. Bauer, Clara’s mother, saw the two boys run up while she stood outside the cabin door with a broom in one hand and asked them “What is it? What is the matter?” The two boy’s each grabbed hold of one of her arms, so she dropped the broom and they told her to run back to their cabin with them. They begged her to hurry and began to pull on both of her arms when she hesitated.

  Mrs. Bauer realized that something was gravely wrong, and ran as quickly as she could back to Karolina’s cabin. When Clara’s mother arrived, she peered within and saw Karolina holding her baby crying and rocking on the dirt floor. She then saw her daughter lying on the bed next to Karolina with her eyes closed, barely breathing. A cholera epidemic had raged previously in Mrs. Bauer’s village in her old country, and she instantly realized her daughter had come down with the deadly disease. She covered her daughter with a blanket to stop her from shivering even though the afternoon temperature was almost 85°F.

  She comforted Karolina and helped her get up off the floor and sit in a rocking chair, while still holding her child in her arms. Karolina continued to sob, holding her child’s head against her bosom, almost like protecting him from the deadly disease.

  Mrs. Bauer turned to the two boys and told them to fetch her husband who was working in the nearby field. When he arrived at the cabin, she calmly told him the situation while his face paled when he realized what was happening. He told her he would go and fetch Stanislaus and the town doctor as quickly as possible.

  An hour later, Stanislaus arrived breathing heavily from running all the way back from town. He and his neighbor ran up to the cabin doorway and looked in. Karolina was rocking Johannes, while Clara was lying on the bed with her mother at her side who was holding a cold cloth to her forehead. Clara’s breathing was becoming more and more labored as she lay there.

  “Mama, will I go to heaven?” She whispered as her mother held her hand and caressed her cheek. “Hush, child. Save your strength. The doctor will be here soon.” She continued to apply the wet cloth to her forehead to fight the fever raging in her body. “Johannes, the baby, how is he? Is he okay? I brought him home to his mother. I tried to help keep him cool, but he was burning up. Did I do all right, Mama? Please say yes, I never meant to hurt him.”

  Mrs. Bauer turned towards Karolina and watched her as she gently rocked her still infant and held him close to her bosom. Mrs. Bauer nodded and said. “Yes, Clara you did the right thing. Now rest and close your eyes. The child is fine.” She said to her daughter. Clara relaxed and squeezed her mother’s hand and drifted off into unconsciousness. Tears began to well up in her mother’s eyes when she saw her daughter’s eyes closed, but she fought them back and continued to caress her daughter’s face.

  Doctor Reul arrived on horseback, dismounted and entered the cabin. Karolina was sitting in the wooden rocking chair holding her dead child with a blank look on her face. Mrs. Bauer was continuing to apply a cold cloth to her daughter Clara’s forehead while fighting back her own tears. Clara’s skin had become dry with little elasticity like the infant Johannes and her limbs were becoming colder while her heart struggled to keep beating.

  The town doctor had come from a nearby farm where the farmer’s wife had died within hours of visiting her friend in town, suffering from the same symptoms as Clara and Johannes. Doctor Reul backed slowly out of the cabin followed by Stanislaus and Clara’s father. Stanislaus and the neighbor looked at him questioningly, and he shook his head and told them both “There is nothing I can do to help the poor girl. And I am so sorry for your son, Stanislaus.” and patted him on the shoulder. Stanislaus nodded at him stone faced without any emotion.

  The doctor encouraged Clara’s father to go back into the cabin to be with his daughter during her last few moments on earth. The farmer’s eyes began to well up with tears when he told him, and he dabbed his eyes with a kerchief as he re-entered the dark cabin.

  Chapter Eleven

  The sun was now slowly dropping below the horizon as evening came. The town doctor told Stanislaus he would tell Father Bredeick of the death of his son so that the priest could give him last rites. Stanislaus nodded his head and thanked him as he watched the doctor ride away on his horse. He slowly went back into the cabin and embraced his wife who began to cry softly on his shoulder. Stanislaus then stroked her hair and comforted her as he took the still form of his infant child and laid him on a chair next to his mother.

  The Bauer’s held their daughter’s hand while the last few moments of her life ebbed away. Clara’s breathing began to slow and she remained unconscious. Suddenly, outside the cabin door, they heard a loud commotion as Peter ran up to the cabin all the way from town, out of breath. He was shouting “Where is Clara? Where is Clara?” He had heard that there was someone ill at Stanislaus’s and Karolina’s farm and wanted to find his beloved Clara. Peter looked around the cabin and his stomach began to turn when he saw Clara lying on the bed next to her parents. He moved closer to the bed, slumped to the floor and began to weep uncontrollably. Peter wailed, “Why is this happening? She is too young!”

  Stanislaus’s and Karolina’s two boys began to cry after seeing the young man weeping loudly. The old farmer saw them all crying and left his daughter to comfort Peter and the two young boys. Little words could come to the farmer, so he merely embraced each of them and stood Peter up and then held Peter’s head against his shoulder while he continued to weep.

  Father Bredeick arrived shortly thereafter from visiting another farmer down the road. He administered the last rites to the infant Johannes and draped his arms around the shoulders of the farmer’s wife while she watched her daughter draw her last breath. Clara was dead! The priest knelt down and administered last rites to Clara and rose to go.

  As he stood up, Stanislaus thanked him for coming so quickly. Clara’s father was unable to say anything overcome with grief, while his wife began sobbing loudly upon seeing the death of their daughter. Peter stunned, looked at Father Bredeick and at Clara’s parents and then began to walk back towards the town of Delphos with his head bowed.

  Father Bredeick told Stanislaus and Mr. Bauer and his wife that he would inform the town’s undertaker to pick up the bodies of Clara and the infant Johannes. He also told them he would hold a memorial mass for them the following morning as he hurriedly left to go to another neighboring farm to perform last rites for one of the farmer’s children.

  All in all, the cholera epidemic would claim half of the inhabitants of Delphos before it finally subsided. There were so many deaths each day that many of the bodies had to be
buried in mass graves in the new cemetery by the church under construction.

  The farmer helped his wife to stand and then caressed his daughter’s face one last time and wrapped her body up in blankets and a comforter lying on the bed. Stanislaus picked up his infant son covered in a dark blanket and then gathered any other remaining blankets from the bed and placed them around his son’s body. Karolina continued to rock in the rocking chair still in shock from the sudden death of her child. Stanislaus and the old farmer placed the bodies of their two children in a nearby wagon to wait for the undertaker. Mrs. Bauer told Stanislaus to burn the bed and any bedding which Clara and Johannes had soiled. Because of the cholera epidemic, she witnessed in her old village, she knew what steps were needed to stop the disease from spreading any further. Stanislaus went back into the cabin and picked up the wooden bed frame and mattress and dragged it out of the cabin to a nearby clearing in the woods. He stacked on top of it any remaining bed linens, his son’s cloth diapers and even Clara’s brush and comb which had fallen out of her pocket when she fell unconscious.

  He placed firewood around the bed frame, mattress and bed linens and set it on fire. Karolina got up from her rocking chair, went outside and stared into the flames with Stanislaus while the gathering darkness slowly engulfed the two of them. Meanwhile, Mrs. Bauer stood guard at the back of the wagon as if afraid her daughter’s body and that of the young infant Johannes would be stolen away before they had a Christian burial.

  Later that evening, the undertaker pulled up with his brand new hearse, a common wagon with curtains hung on the sides. The two bodies were carefully loaded into the hearse and the farmer and his wife followed it back into town to make arrangements for their daughter’s and the baby’s burial and memorial mass. Stanislaus and Karolina watched as the hearse receded into the distance towards town carrying their dead child. Stanislaus had asked the farmer to make funeral arrangements for his baby son so that he could stay with his grieving wife and their two other young sons at his cabin.

  After the fire burned down to the ground, Stanislaus and Karolina went back into their cabin. Meanwhile, their two boys had eaten some food leftover from the previous day’s evening meal and were lying fast asleep in their beds. Karolina crawled into bed with her youngest son and lay down exhausted, crying softly before she fell asleep. Stanislaus sat down in his wife’s rocking chair and rocked back and forth smoking a pipe in the darkness until he too fell asleep.

  Chapter Twelve

  One month later, Stanislaus encouraged Karolina to go to New York City to visit her friend Anna. Karolina had sunk into a deep depression after the death of the infant Johannes and Clara. She would lie in bed all day and Stanislaus would have to make sure the two children would be dressed and fed before he left to go to work. She refused to get up and would instead lie sobbing all day long.

  Father Bredeick stopped by to encourage her to get up out of bed and spend time outside with her two children. She only turned away and stared at the walls of the cabin until he would leave. Clara’s mother, also hearing about Karolina’s depression stopped by the cabin and returned to her a silver mirror and some rouge makeup that Karolina had given to Clara before she died. They would talk about their children and cry and hold each other until Clara’s mother would have to return to her own farm house and make dinner for her husband.

  Stanislaus realized he needed to do something about Karolina quickly, so he had written a letter to Anna in New York City explaining what had happened and asking her advice on how to help Karolina overcome her depression. Anna sent a sympathy letter to Karolina and Stanislaus soon after hearing of the death of her baby and encouraged Karolina to come to New York City for a visit. Anna’s husband was becoming busier with his New York City law practice focused on High Society clients, and they were being invited to more and more social engagements. She begged Karolina to come to New York and attend these fancy engagements with her since she missed her terribly and was becoming more and more tired of the same small talk she had to endure to help her husband’s career.

  After much encouragement, Karolina finally agreed to go and Stanislaus helped Karolina pack some things for the trip. She told him she was concerned about leaving their two boys so soon after the death of her youngest child but Stanislaus assured her that there would not be any problems. In fact, he reminded her that they would be attending the new church school in only a few weeks’ time and would be busy with their studies anyway to miss her. She finally agreed to go only after Stanislaus assured her everything would be all right, and that they could indeed afford to purchase a train ticket.

  More and more railroad routes were being built across the United States and train fares had been dropping while several of the trains that stopped in Delphos went directly to Cleveland without stopping in Columbus, unlike the previous year.

  Stanislaus and their two boys walked with Karolina to the train station to say goodbye. Karolina was emotionless as she bent down to kiss her son's goodbye before boarding the train. She looked away when Stanislaus waved at her through the window of the passenger car, still too grief-stricken over the death of her youngest child. When Karolina changed trains at the Cleveland Union Depot she looked for “Doc” Rockefeller’s wagon in order to thank him for the elixir he had given her, but he was nowhere to be found. The Cleveland Union Depot train officials had kicked him out of the concourse long ago after complaints were made about him that he was a fraud and a charlatan. His son Johnny, was also nowhere to be found since he was now studying at the new Cleveland Central high school.

  Karolina boarded the train bound for New York City. When she arrived in New York City, she was met at the station by Anna, her husband Frederick, and her friend Johannes.

  When Johannes had arrived in New York City several months before, he and Marguerite and her two children had scoured the city looking for her husband and even asked Anna and Frederick for their help as Karolina had suggested. Johannes pursued small menial labor jobs across New York City during this time to make some money for food and clothing. He then attended regular evening meetings of the city militia at the invitation of Franz Sigel who in turn also drilled with him every Saturday.

  At their next encounter, Frederick suggested Johannes work for his law firm instead of performing menial labor, due to his experience in Napoleon III’s Imperial Guard. He could start by delivering significant legal financial papers and confidential documents to his clients while carrying a revolver for precaution against robbers and ruffians. He also noted this may also help him become familiar with the city to help in his search for Marguerite’s long-lost husband. Johannes agreed to Frederick’s proposal only after some hesitation. He was concerned about carrying a revolver around New York City, as Franz Sigel had warned him to be careful about showing it to any of the city’s policemen. Policemen were stopping German immigrants who were armed and accusing them of any unsolved robberies if they happened to be near the scene of a crime at the wrong time.

  Anna had found Johannes at the law firm the day before and told him Karolina would be visiting New York City. She invited him to come along to meet her at the train station, the next day and he agreed.

  Chapter Thirteen

  As Karolina, disembarked from the train she spotted Anna, her husband and Johannes on the platform. Anna rushed to embrace Karolina and said “Oh, Karolina, I am so sorry” and gave her a big hug. Karolina nodded and hugged her back. Frederick shook her hand and welcomed her to New York. Johannes also gave her a hug and whispered how sorry he was about the death of her baby. Karolina had to bite her lower lip to avoid crying in front of her friends.

  Frederick and Johannes hurried to collect Karolina’s baggage while Anna steered her directly to their waiting carriage. The two men loaded the baggage aboard the carriage and climbed in. The carriage traveled through the city to Anna and Frederick’s new home in midtown Manhattan. Anna explained that all the New York City Society members were moving uptown from the docks and turning their
former homes into tenements for the thousands of new immigrants flooding into the city daily. Karolina asked Johannes “Where are you staying?” and he said that he was staying in a small apartment nearby close to Frederick’s law firm.

  Karolina was amazed by the number of new buildings built in the city since she had been there only a year ago. Anna patted her hand and said “I am so happy that you are here! We will have so much fun together.” “First, we must go shopping for some new clothes! The latest fashions from Paris are here,” she said as she surveyed Karolina. Frederick laughed and said “You must give her some time to rest. She only just arrived from Ohio and must be very tired” as he gave the carriage driver directions to their new home.

  Karolina smiled weakly and stared out the window of the carriage. Frederick and Johannes began to talk about law firm business but Johannes would take a furtive glance at Karolina now and then. She caught him staring at her and their eyes locked, but she quickly turned away and instead began listening to Anna explain about the social engagements they had been invited to. Karolina listened wearily and agreed with Anna that they would be fun to attend together.

  As they came close to Anna and Frederick’s home, Johannes took his leave and walked to his own apartment. Anna and Frederick presented Karolina to their servants who showed her to her room. Karolina exhausted from the train trip, and still depressed from the trauma of losing her youngest child retired early.

  Anna spent every free waking moment with Karolina, trying to cheer her up as they toured the city and went shopping for new clothes. Anna introduced Karolina to her new friends, primarily members of New York City Society. Most of them recognized Karolina, from the reception they both attended a year ago and would nod and shake her hand as they bid her welcome to the city.